A Little Knowledge
by rozisa
Summary: Without calling ahead, Bruce goes to Wales to visit Martha. The story takes place after "I'll be home for Christmas" and "Accidental Zombie." A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. Mention of mpreg.
1. Chapter 1

A Little Knowledge

Author's Note: This story takes place after "I'll be home for Christmas" and after "Accidental Zombie". I noticed that the wedding in "Safety First" and "Accidental Zombie" is the same wedding, so this story needed to be written. Let the crossover fun begin.

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Disney does. I don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

xxxx

After checking into an hotel and getting a rental car, Bruce arrived at Martha and Mickey Smith's house at about seven o'clock. Tony told him to take a taxi since driving on the other side of the road could be a challenge. However, Bruce wanted the freedom of his own car.

Since Bruce came over unannounced Martha already had company over - two ladies about Martha's age - a rosy cheeked brunette and a tall slender blonde. The brunette had on a leather aviation jacket and the blonde had on a pink sweater (jumper in the vernacular). Both had on jeans.

"Dr. Bruce Banner, may I introduce Diane Holmes and Dr. Owen Harper?" said Martha. "You met them at the wedding."

Bruce should have called before coming over, but he figured if Martha wasn't home he'd visit Stonehedge and other historical sites in the United Kingdom. She did tell him her door was always open. He remembered Diane from the wedding. She was sitting with a slender man who didn't touch his champagne the whole reception or his cake for that matter. He could have been on a diet. Still Diane's wedding companion seems to move a bit too little, not that everyone fidgeted as much as Bruce. There was something unnatural about his lack of movement, but Bruce couldn't quite put a finger on it. "It's nice seeing you both, again," Bruce said not wanting to admit he didn't remember the tall blonde, Dr. Harper, from Martha's wedding.

Diane reached out her hand and shook Bruce's hand in a firm strong manner. "Dr. Banner, what brings you to Wales?"

"Please, call me Bruce." Bruce adjusted his glasses even though they weren't falling off his nose - nervous habit. "Martha. While she was visiting New York, I teased her that I've only visited the UK on business and all I saw the first time I came to this lovely country was the inside of my hotel. She told me she would rectify that."

"Owen here is terrified of trees and grass," said Diane. "So Martha and I can give you a native tour of the countryside."

"I can tolerate trees and grass as long as there is a proper amount of buildings around them," Owen said defending herself. "Preferably, tall buildings. Lots of people fear wide open spaces. It has a name and everything: agoraphobia."

"What's a cockney doing in the wide open spaces of Wales?" asked Bruce.

"Diane." Owen squeezed Diane's hand than kissed her cheek. "I would battle dragons for her."

Diane squeezed Owen's hand back. "I don't deserve her."

"When I saw Diane, I knew she was the one." Owen smiled at Diane while still holding her hand. "Diane wasn't that sure about me. But I waited and she returned, proving that love conquers all."

"Is everything OK between you and Tony?" asked Martha.

"Fine," said Bruce.

"Then why isn't he tagging along?" asked Martha.

"Because Iron Man doesn't tag along with anyone. People tag along aside him." Bruce pinched his nose. "Seriously, Tony is racing in some Formula One race or something. And seeing him driving a car real fast isn't good for my nerves. He has Pepper and Rhodey cheering him on."

"Formula One racing," said Mickey. "I could get into that."

"You never watched racing on the telly," said Martha.

"Doing, not watching," said Mickey. "I'm a man of action."

"How does action man manage around all these women?" asked Bruce.

Mickey hugged Martha. "They love me. What can I say?"

Diane faked punched him.

"Diane and Owen can't keep their hands off each other," said Mickey. "Who doesn't want to see two lezzies go at it?"

Diane gave Mickey a death stare.

"I'm cool. Just having a bit of fun," explained Mickey. "Martha and Owen are both doctors and, when they get into talking diseases and bodily fluids, Diane and I turn on the telly."

Diane said, "We can watch your man race on the telly."

Bruce said, "If I wanted to see him race, I would be in the stands. Besides, racing season hasn't started, yet. It's some preliminary thing."

Martha touched Bruce's shoulder. "Girlfriend, do you need to talk alone?"

"You aren't a psychiatrist," said Bruce. "Tony tried to use me as his psychiatrist. I fell asleep. At least, he's talking."

"Talking is good." Martha put on her jacket. "Let's talk outside."

Bruce put on his jacket and followed Martha out the door.

Martha walked onto the pavement and a few steps away from the house. "Talk."

"What's there to say? Me and adrenaline don't go together and auto racing is an adrenaline frenzy," said Bruce. "Tony told me when we got engaged that he could always take Pepper or Rhodey as his plus one whenever being Tony Stark didn't lend itself to going places or doing things inside my comfort zone."

"Going to a grassy field is outside Owen's comfort zone," said Martha.

"You're kidding." Bruce smiled in spite of himself.

"No, Jack took the team to the spot just outside Nowhere and Owen nearly peed on herself. As it was, she locked the keys inside the van," said Martha. "Of course, I'm going on hearsay. I wasn't there. So you shouldn't feel bad about not going to an auto race."

Bruce pushed his glasses a bit higher on his nose. "It's just that everyone saw Tony outside The Chinese Theatre alone. Now he's at some high coverage event without me. The press will be writing the honeymoon is over." It would only be a media event because Tony was there. They were probably just talking to the pit crew or checking out the track or something.

Martha looked at Bruce a moment, making him awake of his fidgeting. "Is the honeymoon over?"

"No, everything is good." Bruce smiled. Now that Tony had exposed himself to Extermis, they didn't need protection in the bedroom to keep Tony from getting exposed to Bruce's radioactive blood because Tony's blood was now immune to the mutagen. They only needed the latex gloves when they wanted to play mad scientist. "The sex is better than ever."

"Good, not great or fabulous," said Martha.

"Tony didn't tell me about the Extermis shit until he was at gunpoint," said Bruce.

"Gunpoint?" Martha took Bruce's hand and lead him down the street.

"That was after the house was firebombed with Tony inside. He was this close to dying." Bruce gestured how close with his finger and thumb close together. "I couldn't bear to lose him."

Martha hugged Bruce. "I'm sorry."

Bruce hugged Martha back. "They had a gun at Tony and I was being held in a lab on the other side country. I felt so helpless. I never been so scared in my life. Tony's my everything. Killian taunted me while I watched Savin wave a gun at Tony's face. I know I should have let Killian do his worse to me, but I panicked and changed and the other guy ripped Killian's head off."

Martha jerked a second but she continued to hug Bruce. "Wow."

"I came to all covered in blood." Bruce stopped patting Martha's back, but accepted the hug and didn't cringe or back away. "I made light of it at that moment, but I just wanted to die. Not die. Vanish on the spot in shame."

"You aren't responsible for the other guy's actions," said Martha.

Bruce stopped hugging Martha, took a step back and looked at the pavement. "He's my id."

"This Killian guy was threatening Tony and you're very protective of him," said Martha. "The other guy never ripped someone's head off before."

"Not that I know of," said Bruce. "My memories of being the other guy are foggy at best."

"Bruce, your feelings aren't wrong or right. They just are."

"People get killed because of my feelings."

"Killian was a bad man," said Martha. "He firebombed your house and tried to kill your husband. I know that doesn't ease the guilt."

"It doesn't," admitted Bruce. "And don't compare my condition to Owen's. Changing into a giant id monster is a lot worse than agoraphobia."

"You would think." Martha laughed. "Owen's panic of the great outdoors caused the van to be stolen by cannibals. It isn't my story. I wasn't there." By now, she was laughing so hard that she was holding her stomach. "I'm so sorry."

Bruce smiled to spite himself. "Cannibals?"

"Honest to goodness cannibals, not an alien in sight," said Martha.

"Cannibals," Bruce said, again. "I get pretty hungry after the other guy leaves, but I never ate someone."

"Just out shwarmaed Steve and Thor according to Tony," teased Martha.

Bruce smiled a little. "Thanks for making me feel better." Bruce ran his fingers through his curls. "Let's head back."

"Diane and Mickey are probably yelling at the telly while Owen is trying to figure out which team has the ball."

"I never been into sports myself," admitted Bruce. "The closest I get to sports is playing the occasional video game."

"I don't follow sports either. The only reason Owen and I hide in the kitchen is because Diane and Mickey see football as a reason to get pissed and eat too many crisps."

Bruce put an arm around Martha as they headed back. "I can't imagine the woman who walked the Earth as a football widow."

Martha didn't acknowledge that comment. "Back to gossip. Did I tell you Gwen had a little girl, Anwen?"

"No," said Bruce. "Do tell."

xxxx

As expected, Bruce, Martha and Owen ended up sitting at the dining room table while Mickey and Diane hogged the living room couch. Martha and Mickey lived a very middle-class two bedroom house. Nothing about their home said they fought alien invaders for a living, which was probably how they liked it.

Dr. Owen Harper was the name of the man who worked as the Torchwood doctor before Martha got the position. Bruce only skimmed the file on Martha, but the gentleman that had the job before her had died from a gunshot wound. Then it was a bit sketchy how he survived the fatal or nearly fatal wounds, but he returned to work. Then soon after, he was supposedly vaporised by superheated stream. The young lady holding her own discussing alien physiology seemed very much alive.

"I don't mean to embarrass you, but you bought up the agoraphobia," said Bruce. "And Martha mentioned your van being stolen by cannibals because you got anxious around all the grass. That's a story I wouldn't mind hearing."

"It's classified," said Owen.

"I'm classified," teased Bruce.

"Then you're in good company," said Owen. "Diane, Mickey and myself are also classified."

"You don't like men," said Bruce.

"I like men fine," Owen said. "You're phishing or you would tell me what you have on me."

Bruce smiled and drank a bit of tea. "You're right - I'm phishing. Sorry."

"I would love to hear about your caregiver robots," said Owen.

"Bruce is also right," said Martha. "What do Unique, Tosh and I have in common? We're all female. When did you ever have a nice thing to say about a male co-worker?"

"Whoa!" shouted Owen, laying her left hand over her bosom. She had pink gel nails. Her hand was rather stiff, making Bruce wonder if she had suffered nerve damage. "Ianto shot me."

"You were trying to open the rift."

"Jack and Tosh would have been stuck in the past if I didn't," Owen said defending herself. "Looking back, it was the wrong decision. Tosh wouldn't have been killed by Grey and Jack would have been none the worse for wear and Tosh's grandchildren would have visited us the day after their old grandmother went back into the past."

"You don't know that," said Martha. "She could have died in the Blitz, and she would have never known how much you loved her."

Owen put her other well-manicured hand over her chest. "You think she knew?"

"You broke your finger for her then took a long walk on a short pier. Tosh was a lot of things but dense wasn't one of them."

Owen put her hands back on the table. Her good hand covering her weak one. "During the 48 hours we were all retconned, I bought her flowers. The note was in my handwriting."

Martha touched the fingertips of Owen's bad hand. "She knew."

"No one, actually, takes a long walk off a short pier," said Bruce, attempting to follow.

"Owen did," said Martha.

"You're the Owen Harper that Martha replaced in Torchwood," said Bruce. "I only read Martha's file, not yours, so there wasn't any pictures, but I'm fairly certain the file said something about Martha covering for Dr. Harper after his gunshot wound."

Owen's eyes went to her lap. "What else did you read?"

"You died in a nuclear power plant accident - turned into radioactive ash due to superheated stream," said Bruce, sheepishly. "I'm not looking at a pile of ash, so the file was mistaken."

"Rerouted the containment breach," Owen gave what looked like a forced smile. "My knowledge of nuclear power plants is limited to random shit and thingamabobs, so let's say I rerouted the steam to another room that I wasn't fucking occupying. With Tosh gone, I didn't want to return to Torchwood and Jack doesn't deal well with loose ends, so I let him believe I was dead."

"Ah," said Bruce. "That makes sense."

"Wait a fucking second," Owen exclaimed. "He rehired Martha after he learned I was working at Flat Holm. He lied to protect me."

"He loves you," said Martha. "Owen is sitting here because energy from the TARDIS vortex through Jack is keeping Owen animated. Since the life energy is glued to Jack, Owen is animated but has no life signs. When the glove reanimated Suzie, the glove stole Gwen's life energy and gave it to Suzie."

Bruce stared at Owen. "No life signs."

"The energy was coming from Duroc," said Owen.

"Duroc stopped providing the energy a long time ago," explained Martha. "You're now getting your energy from the TARDIS through Jack."

"You should have told me," said Owen.

"What difference would it have made?" asked Martha.

"None, I guess," said Owen.

Bruce said, trying to follow, "Owen gets her energy from an outside source, not from eating and drinking. That's why she hasn't touched her tea."

"My heart was shattered by the bullet, so it no longer beats. My diaphragm contracts, but my lungs no longer take in oxygen. You can touch my hand. I'm cool to the touch. I'm covered in opaque make-up head to toe because my skin is pale due to lack of blood, so when you touch my hand, you'll feel sealant and not skin." Owen reached her hand across the table. "I told you mine. Why are you classified?"

Bruce gave an awkward grin. "I'm the Hulk. Do you still want to shake hands?"

Owen smiled. "As long as you're gentle. I also don't heal."

Bruce shook Owen's cool hand. "Friends?"

Owen then placed her hands on her lap. "Friends." Her hands. Deciding to live as a woman couldn't have been an easy choice for Owen to make. Bruce had to respect her wishes.

"Martha and Mickey travelled with this doctor - not named John Smith," said Bruce. "So that's why they're classified. Did Diane also travel with him?"

Owen put a finger over her lips then giggled. "That's not for me to say."

"You didn't like Ianto before he shot you," said Martha.

"Before he shot me, he was a secretive tosser that hid his cyberman girlfriend in the basement," said Owen. "We only tolerated him for his coffee."

"Bruce, I'll call Jack to tell him a need a few days off," said Martha. "Owen, Jack can call you if he needs a doctor."

"He won't," said Owen. "He won't even give me the location of the new facility."

"You did have pizza delivered to the old one," said Martha.

Bruce laughed. "I wouldn't give you the location of my secret lair."

"Ha ha ha," said Owen.

"If I had one," said Bruce.

"Tony must have a secret lair or two," teased Martha.

"His not mine," said Bruce. "We sleep in the master bedroom, but we each have our own studies and laboratories - makes for a happier marriage. Once when I was treating a patient, JARVIS, the home security AI, kept Tony out of my laboratory for hours." JARVIS did a lot more than home security, but that was his most important job. Now that Bruce kept Tony fed and watered.

"Tony must have loved that," said Martha.

"It works both ways," said Bruce. "When Tony is up to his eyeballs in robot parts and his newest gadgets for his body armor I can't barge in."

"You can't," said Martha. "Somehow, I don't believe that."

Bruce shook his head. "JARVIS has to announce me. It gives Tony a moment to put down the torch."

Martha and Owen smiled.

"You and Mickey work together, so you must have some ground rules in place," said Bruce.

"Mickey had said early on that work stays at work and home stays home, but our hours at Torchwood don't allow that. Too much overlap," said Martha. "But we try to keep all the aliens and space junk out of the home."

"Martha is better at turning off the mobile phone than I am," said Owen. "Then I didn't have a life until Diane returned to me."

"You don't have a life now," teased Martha.

"I'm not alive," said Owen, "But I have a life. There is a difference."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: I change pronouns to suit the point of view character's perspective since this chapter is in Owen's POV in the first section and Bruce's in the second. I hope you don't find that confusing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or Torchwood. Other people do. I'm only borrowing their characters and promise to return them unharmed. :)

xxxx

Martha called Owen. "Bruce would like to talk to you."

"What about?" asked Owen.

"You can ask him," said Martha.

"Give him the phone," said Owen. He didn't have anything against the man, creature, whatever. Torchwood dealt with space monsters and the Hulk was a terrain monster. Still Owen was fragile and while the Hulk didn't rampage when he was small and not green, his hands went from his nose to his hair and onto his lap without him appearing to notice. However, he couldn't hurt Owen while on the phone.

"My friend discovered a treatment that can cure almost everything," explained Bruce. "I would have to look at your injuries and talk to my associate but we need more test subjects."

"You can't get test subjects for a cure-all." Owen thought back to Aaron Copley and mayflies. "What's the catch?"

"A number of subjects testing the previous formula experienced exothermic reactions up to 3000 degrees Celsius," said Bruce. "We changed the formula so the subjects no longer incinerate. However, due to the bad press, it's hard to get test subjects."

"I bet," said Owen.

"Well, are you game?" asked Bruce.

"Jack, Duroc or whoever won't stop animating me because you stick nanites in me," said Owen. "As long as you can insure me I won't incinerate, I'm game."

"We can meet up at Martha's house if you're not comfortable giving me the address of your flat," suggested Bruce.

"I'll need Diane to help wash off the sealant," explained Owen.

"I don't have the serum on me," explained Bruce. "I would just be looking at your injury. I also need to see the condition of your skin before I can proceed."

"All my skin?" asked Owen.

"Just a small area," said Bruce. "Then you can reapply your make-up and sealant."

"Give the phone back to Martha," said Owen.

Owen heard the mobile phone being moved and shuffled about.

"Owen, my house is good," said Martha. "We're at the Tower Bridge. Is tomorrow afternoon good? About 3 o'clock?"

"I finish work at 3, so make it 3:30," said Owen.

xxxx

Bruce and Martha were drinking tea when Owen knocked on the door. She was wearing her pink jumper over her housekeeping uniform. Her uniform pants were a bit dirty from the sweeping and mopping, but she didn't smell of sweat and her make-up looked freshly done. Then, again, no one noticed he was the Hulk until he said something then they couldn't help but see the Hulk's features in him. Knowing Owen was dead had changed his perception of her.

Owen put her hands on her hips. "I'm here. You can tell me about Extermis while I remove my jumper, blouse and bra." She then sat down to start undressing.

"All the remaining original test subjects are off Extermis without any lasting side effects." Bruce watched Owen unbutton her blouse. "They are all healthy. My husband continues to take Extermis because he changed the formula to allow him to operate his exoskeleton through a mental link."

Her falsies stayed in the bra as she removed it. Then she placed them on the table with the bra, blouse and jumper.

Bruce looked at the unhealed bullet wound on her chest. "Honey, I need you to remove the sealant, so I can get a better look at the injury."

Owen dropped the falsetto. "Don't be so fucking condescending. I'm doing you a favour."

"My hubby uses nicknames and terms of endearment for everyone. He called Loki _Reindeer Games_," Bruce said, "You should hear the things he calls Captain America. My favourite is _The World's Oldest Virgin_."

"Sorry," said Owen.

"Tony is bisexual and, being Tony, he's very loud about it," explained Bruce. "And Captain America can't even say sex."

"I forgot to bring my solvent," explained Owen. "I came straight from work."

"Get dressed," said Bruce. "I'll have Maya send a vial by overnight delivery. You need to be sealant-free before I inject you with the nanites. From what I can see, no rigor mortis has taken place and your body shows little decay. In my medical opinion, I would say you were dead for an hour or less. I can work with that."

Owen put on her bra with the falsies, then her blouse and jumper. Her face looked sad like she would cry if she had tears.

After joining her on the sofa, Bruce put a hand on her shoulder. "Owen, honey, I'm sorry."

Owen pushed Bruce's hand away. "Please, don't touch me."

Bruce put his hands on his lap. "Sorry."

"I'm a corpse. All the make-up and pretty pink jumpers don't change that." Her hand touched the key around Bruce's neck. "Interesting pendent."

Bruce touched the key made from the shrapnel in Tony's chest. "I have the key to Tony's heart. The wound from the electromagnet was larger than the hole in your chest and it's all healed now. By this time tomorrow, your heart could be beating."

Owen touched Bruce's hand that was still touching the pendant. "That's a lot of shrapnel. Some of those pieces are quite large."

Bruce teared up. "I know."

"Sometimes, Diane gets upset that she can't please me sexually. I tell her that I enjoy being with her and being able to please her. When I was alive, I told her that I love seeing her orgasm. I still feel that way."

"I can't orgasm because the other guy would interrupt before I reached that level of ecstasy. However, Tony is self-involved enough that it no longer bothers him. On our first date, I fell asleep on him and we had a second date."

Owen smiled.

"You can laugh," said Bruce.

Owen smiled a bit brighter - showing a few more teeth.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I don't own Torchwood or Marvel. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

xxxx

The next day, Martha phoned Owen to tell him that Bruce received the package. "Bring clothes to wear home and I'll wash the sealant off you in my bathtub. That way you can ask Diane for forgiveness afterward if anything goes wrong. If things go right, you can surprise her in the bedroom."

"Sounds like a plan," said Owen.

Bruce stayed downstairs while Martha washed all the sealant off of Owen's body. His skin was a bit ashen from lack of blood and she couldn't remove the mesh covering his left hand without damaging his left hand more without surgical equipment, so she let it go. When he stood, she helped pat him dry.

"You can wear Mickey's dressing gown or you can dress," said Martha. "It's up to you."

"Mickey's dressing gown," said Owen.

Martha got the dressing gown from Mickey's closet. After she returned to the bathroom, she helped Owen dress. Then they went to the living room.

Bruce smiled weakly at Owen. "You go out of the house like that."

"I'm in a dressing gown," said Owen. "So the answer is no."

"I suggest removing the paper-mache from your hand," said Bruce. "You can do it later. However, since you can't feel pain, you would appreciate doing it before the injection."

Owen winched. "Martha, please."

"Sit down," said Martha. "I'll get a scissors. Lay your hand flat."

Owen did as ordered and watched as Martha cut away the mesh, leaving his wound open. "No blood. What little blood I have doesn't circulate."

"It must be very little," said Bruce. "Or gravity would make it pool at your feet."

"I bled out from a gunshot wound," said Owen.

"If you go outside like that, people must yell 'zombie,'" Bruce commented.

"They don't. A clerk at a mortuary thought I was a crazy person when I asked for a cosmetician," said Owen. "We have built-in perception filters. Jack plans to use a perception filter to hide his pregnancy."

Bruce's mouth fell open. "Jack is pregnant?"

"Four months," said Martha.

"We can talk about Jack later," said Owen. "I feel exposed without my make-up or sealant."

Bruce prepared the syringe. "This is going to hurt. I can't begin to describe the pain. Like every cell in your body is on fire. We can write in our notes that the patient died of a gunshot wound about an hour before we arrived and we had the family's permission to use Extermis on the body."

Owen hugged himself and clutched his teeth.

"Relax," said Bruce. "Tightening up will make it worse. In a few minutes it will be over. When you are lying in Diane's arms, it will be all worth it."

"Those minutes may feel like hours," said Owen.

Martha said, "Women have a second baby after going through labor for the first one, so some things are worth the pain."

"This pain will be worse than childbirth," explained Bruce. "But it will be over quicker. As long as you're better behaved than me, I'll be happy."

"I'll behave," said Owen.

"Good. When Killian threatened to use this shit on me, I panicked and changed into the other guy and ripped Killian's head clear off his body," explained Bruce. "I like to keep my head attached."

"Wouldn't you change if threatened?" asked Owen.

"It depends," said Bruce. "It takes time for the adrenaline to enter my bloodstream to trigger the change. The bruises on my body from when I walked into an escalator in a mall show I'm just as human as anyone else in this form."

Martha smirked. "You walked into an escalator."

"They're on the left side," said Bruce. "Even the foot traffic is backwards in this country."

"You Yanks have it backwards," said Owen.

"Killian chained me," said Bruce. "Kinda think of it, the restraints were used on subjects that wanted Extermis to regrow their limbs. Forget the sofa. You better lie in a big bed with lots of room for you to spasm in pain."

"That makes me feel so much better," Owen stated.

xxxx

Bruce followed Owen and Martha to Martha's bedroom. Martha made the bed then had Owen lie on top of the covers. Bruce then said, "You better give her the shot. You're her doctor."

"Owen is just a _she_ for work," explained Martha. "It's more complicated than that. Owen got made up as a woman because Jack, practically, ordered Owen to have himself made up so he looked less dead. Then Owen kept up the wig, falsies and falsetto because he felt Diane would be more comfortable if people believed she had a female roommate."

Bruce scratched his chin. "His doctor."

Owen stared at the ceiling. "Someone give me the fucking shot."

Martha took the syringe from Bruce. "Arse, leg or arm?"

"Arm is fine," said Owen.

Martha gave him the shot in his arm then stood back a bit to watch Owen's body push out the bullet until it was on top of his healed but unmoving chest while his skin went from a near grey to a healthy pink. Where was the squirming and screaming in pain? Martha took his pulse. "He's still dead."

Bruce said, "You give him mouth-to-mouth. I'll start chest compressions."

"We tried. It's over," said Martha.

"No, it isn't," said Bruce.

"His muscles aren't contracting like before," said Martha. "He's still. Let him rest."

"I'm not giving up." Bruce walk over to the side of the bed to give Owen CPR. "I can do it alone but it's easier with two people."

Watching Bruce give Owen chest compressions, Martha leaned over to give Owen mouth-to-mouth although she felt it was useless. Owen was dead for over two years. It was time to let him rest. Then before she could cover his mouth with hers, he coughed into her face. And his breath wasn't pleasant. At the same moment, Owen farted.

"Fuck!" Owen farted, again, while sitting up. "Now you won't kiss me."

"I'm a married woman," teased Martha.

Owen took a deep breath. "I'm breathing." He took another deep breath - filling his lungs. "I'm really breathing."

Martha said, "You are also farting."

"I told Jack that I would miss farting," Owen laughed. "I must have 2 years of gas wanting to get out."

Bruce headed to the door. "I'll leave you with your doctor. Owen, we can talk once your dressed." Then Bruce left the bedroom.

Owen said, "I need to use the loo."

Martha heard the sound of Owen evacuating then the smell of food that was sitting in his intestine for over two years.

"Sorry," said Owen.

"I'll get a bucket and a bath sponge," said Martha. "You move and you'll get my whole bedroom covered in your shit. Stay put."

Owen held his nose. "I'm lying in it."

After taking off the soiled dressing gown and putting it in a rubbish bag, Martha rolled Owen onto a plastic rubbish bag she had cut open to make a plastic sheet. Then she washed him with a sponge, making sure his naughty bits were clean. "Your plumbing works."

"I can't help it," said Owen. "Shakespeare wrote sonnets about you."

"Jack told you." Martha raised out the sponge in her bucket then continued washing Owen's nether regions. "I'll kill him."

"He'll just get up afterwards. I killed him once."

After his arse and naughty bits were clean, she washed his legs. That she threw out the plastic sheet and dried him. "This is the first time I washed a patient. That's what nurses are for."

"I had to do everything when I worked for Torchwood. The best part of the job was the five times I revived Tommy. Four times - no five - the last time we didn't know till later that this would be the time we were sending him to his death. Tosh would get so pretty for him." Owen, sitting on her stripped bed, wrapped in Martha's biggest fluffiest towel, was smiling - beaming.

"I haven't needed to sponge bathe a patient until today," said Martha. "You must be freezing."

"The towel helps."

Martha helped Owen dress in his tee shirt, boxers, jeans and hoodie. "Can you stand? None of this is your fault. You must be starving. I suggest small meals until you adjust to eating, again."

"That smell took away any appetite I may have had," explained Owen. "I'm so sorry."

"Shit happens."

Owen sat on the side of the bed. "I'm good." Then he put on his socks and trainers.

Martha put a hand on Owen's shoulder. "Let's talk to Bruce."

"I'm glad he left. I don't like him touching me."

Martha didn't see Owen as a bigot. "It isn't him being gay?"

"No way. Fuck. You know me better than that." Owen stood without help. "He ripped someone's head off."

Martha showed a bit of the syringe in her pocket then slid it back into her pocket. "One shot of this and the transformation stops. He goes back to being a farsighted awkward middle-aged man."

"I'm no longer part of Touchwood, so I don't get a syringe." Owen made a pouty face. "I see how it is."

"Owen, Bruce gave me the syringe to show that he trusted me," explained Martha. "If anything should happen, I'm armed. You trust me?"

"Always." Owen forced a smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I don't own Torchwood. BBC does. And Marvel belongs to Disney. Go figure.

xxxx

Bruce had explained that the nanites would be out of Owen's system in about 72 hours and, after that, he would heal normally. After Bruce left to rejoin his husband in some five star resort, Owen sat on Martha's sofa, not knowing whether he should call Diane or Jack next. Diane. He would deal with Jack later.

"Honey, I'm alive," Owen said over the phone. "You can't tell anyone Dr. Banner used Extermis on me."

"Isn't that shit illegal after people blew up while on it?" asked Diane.

"Bruce fixed the formula, so people no longer have exothermic reactions," explained Owen. "All the remaining test subjects were treated and are now free of Extermis. I was dead when he injected me. My cadaver belongs to Torchwood, so Martha as Torchwood's doctor signed off on it."

"That isn't funny," said Diane.

"When I was in medical school, we did much worse things to cadavers than inject them with nanites." Owen thought about tossing body parts around the class room. "I'm not a cadaver anymore, and I long to press my warm body next to yours."

"Did you eat?" asked Diane.

"No, I just vacated two year old fecal material, so I'm not really hungry," explained Owen, although his stomach was growling. "Martha told me small meals. I'm thinking porridge, broth and three-minute eggs at first. Then I can graduate to custard and dry toast."

"No bangers and mash," said Diane.

"Mash no gravy in a day or two," said Owen. "Feasting after a fast can kill a person. I need to be careful."

"Sex?" asked Diane.

"We'll cuddle and take it from there," said Owen.

"Sweetie, I love you," said Diane.

"I love you, too," said Owen.

xxxx

After getting home and eating some porridge and drinking weak tea, Owen was finally ready to phone Jack. After the hello, the ah's and the pauses, Owen spit it out. "Dr. Banner used nanites on me and I'm alive, again."

"When should I be expecting you back at Torchwood?" Jack would say something like that. Assume.

"You have a doctor."

"Your talents don't lie in medicine," said Jack.

"I don't know if that was an insult or a compliment," said Owen.

Jack said in a soft sexy voice, "Take it as a compliment."

"I'll think about it," said Owen. "You won't retcon me if I say no."

"I'm not that much of a psychopath," said Jack.

"Then you admit that you like me," said Owen. "You like me. You really like me."

"You aren't Sally Fields," said Jack. "I've been using a perception filter when I'm not at home or work. For it to work, I need to stay in the background."

Owen laughed. "You in the background?"

"I kept Torchwood a secret until someone told the pizzeria of our existence," teased Jack. "I wonder who that could have been?"

"You don't live in Torchwood anymore?" asked Owen, changing the subject.

"Ianto and I share a house," said Jack. "I'll give you the address and you don't need to bring a housewarming gift."

xxxx

After work, Owen went to Jack and Ianto's house. He still had on his work uniform under his mac. His handbag was over his shoulder and the hand, not holding the umbrella, rang the doorbell.

No one appeared to answer the door. An image of Jack ghosted in and out as Owen felt a large man hug him. "I never saw anyone more beautiful in my life," said Jack's voice.

Owen started to shake and cry. He was going to be raped by a ghost image the second time in his life. Jack and Ianto had probably played postman at the front door since everyone knew about their naked hide and seek. Jack and Ianto's previous fun wouldn't be fun to him since he didn't want a ghost image of Jack touching him. "Please, don't. Stop! I beg you."

The same time as Owen heard the sound of a small metal object hitting a table, Jack appeared - no longer a ghost. He was solid, real and hugging Owen.

"Owen, are you all right?" Jack asked. "Owen, you aren't Lizzie. It's over. You're in the doorway of my house. Safe."

Owen rested his head on Jack's shoulder. "Sorry."

Jack led him to the sofa and helped him with his raincoat. "Sit down."

Owen sat down and put his hands on his face. After Jack sat down, Owen put one of his hands on Jack's lower abdomen. That rock-hard ball was either a baby or a tumour. "Wow. Can I use the loo? My make-up is probably totally ruined."

"Are you Jack Lemmon or Tony Curtis?" Jack said.

"I'm Marilyn Monroe," Owen retorted. His wig was sticking to his face in all ways that it shouldn't and his trousers were soaked halfway up the calf from cars splashing rain water onto him as he walked to the bus stop. "My life is just as tragic. At least, she lived to be 36. I can find the loo on my own."

Owen took off his wig then washed his face with soap and water. He then brushed out his wig. At least, his jumper had stayed dry under the raincoat. He left the wig in the loo to dry. Then he yelled down the hall, "Jack, did you call me beautiful?"

"Yes," Jack yelled back.

Owen walked back to the parlour. Feeling the chill from his wet trousers clinging to his legs, he collapsed onto the sofa. "You say I'm beautiful then you compare me to the actors in _Some Like it Hot_. You can't have it both ways."

"Why not?" asked Jack. "You feeling the bricks in that holding cell was also beautiful."

"Me standing on my head to use gravity to empty my stomach wasn't," Owen said just to make sure.

"No, that was beyond disgusting," stated Jack.

"As long as we're clear on that," said Owen. "You didn't ask me out here in the rain to talk old times."

"No, Gwen is on family leave and I can't go out in the field with a bun in the oven," explained Jack. "We need you."

"We can make a deal. If I stay on long enough to train my replacement, I get to work at Flat Holm with my memories intact."

"Do you have anyone one in mind to replace you?"

"Yes, Uneek," said Owen. "She's about my height and could play rugby. You should see her move patients when you need to change the sheets with the patient still in the bed. And the way she tosses dirty linens is scary."

"Why should she work for me?" asked Jack.

"You need happy people working for Torchwood - not people traumatised by seeing the love of their life die from an alien brain parasite or seeing everyone they work with turned into cybermen, or, let's not forget, being to forced to make weapons while your mother is kidnapped - only to be sent to a Unit prison with no hope of release."

"Gwen, Martha and Mickey didn't land at Torchwood due to tragedy," said Jack.

That was neither here nor there.

"Uneek knows I used to be dead and she knows about Torchwood." Owen smiled to spite the goosebumps on his legs. "The way I see it you can either hire her or retcon her and she's 20, big strong and willing to learn. You won't find better."

Jack offered Owen his hand. "Norma, you have a deal."

Owen shook it then said in a breathy voice, "It's Sugar. And I'm no longer getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop."

"Sugar, Martha told me about your accident yesterday," said Jack. "How's it going?"

"Good." Owen spoke in his normal voice. "I'm holding more food down and vomiting less. Several people at work asked me if I had a new boyfriend because my cheeks are so rosy. Martha wants me to pee in a cup once a day, so she can check my nanite levels."

"Stay for dinner," said Jack. "Ianto can make a lot more than coffee."

"Can I invite someone?" asked Owen.

"One someone," said Jack. "After a busy day of fighting aliens, Ianto isn't going to be in the mood for a dinner party."

"With Gwen gone and you home with severe morning sickness, Ianto must be running the fort," said Owen. Jack must have really been desperate to ask him back. Owen used his mobile to call Uneek. "I spoke to Jack. You're in. I'll give you the address. Could you be kind enough to bring over some knickers and jeans?"

"You didn't have another accident?" asked Uneek.

"No, I got them wet in the rain," said Owen. He did pee a little when Jack scared him at the door, but he wasn't telling Uneek that. "We're about the same size. I'll return them washed." Uneek took the address. After making their good-byes, Owen hung up the phone. "You get to meet Uneek tonight."

"I've heard," said Jack.

"You don't sound happy," said Owen.

"When do you get to pick out my team members?"

"When you get yourself pregnant while another team member is on maternity leave. Great timing on your part." Owen fell asleep on the sofa while waiting for Uneek to arrive with dry clothing. After rubbing his eyes, Owen said, "Captain Jack Harkness, may I introduce Uneek Johnson."

"Owen, we made our introductions while you were sleeping." Uneek handed Owen a shopping bag. "You really joined the land of the living. Jack, I nearly spewed when I saw him in the break room eating jelly."

"You should have seem the look on her face," said Owen. "Priceless."

Uneek said, "You return them washed as promised."

"I shall." Owen took the clothes to the loo. After he peeing, he tied back his stuff like he did all day at work. While he was dead, he let it hang loose because it didn't react due to no blood flow. Now he felt more comfortable with it restrained while he crossdressed since little Owen had a mind of his own. Uneek's jeans were a bit loose in the caboose, but that was to be expected. After he reapplied his make-up, he put his wig back on and brushed it some more. Finally, he was happy with his appearance.

After Owen exited the loo, Uneek shouted, "Looking good."

Once he got to the parlour, Owen did a swirl. "You have a bit more junk in the trunk then I do."

"If you pad your arse like you pad your chest, you would have more of an hourglass figure," said Uneek.

"After I give my notice at the hospital, the wig, make-up and falsies go in the drawer forever," said Owen. "Jack, when can she start?"

"We both give our notice to the hospital, and the rumour mill shall say we're running off together," said Uneek.

Owen sat beside Uneek and put an arm around her. "We aren't?"

"I'm not gay," said Uneek.

Owen said in a deep voice. "I'm all man."

Uneek blushed a bit. "No one at work knows that. Has Owen always been genderqueer?"

"I'm not familiar with the word," admitted Jack. "But Owen has been know to pick up a man and a woman on the same night."

Owen grinned. "I once picked up at man and a woman at the same table for a threesome."

Uneek shook her head. "Owen is sweet - innocence. She smiles awkwardly at sex jokes. She would have blushed if she had blood flow at the time. I can't see her picking up one person at a bar - let alone two."

"That's Lizzie." Jack smiled at Owen like he was trying to give Owen support or, at least, knowledge his pain. "When I invited Owen into my house, Lizzie flashbacked to her rape and murder. Owen had a bad encounter with an alien device some years back and I brushed it off at the time."

Still having an arm around Uneek, Owen said without the falsetto he used for work, "Dressing as a girl isn't healthy for me. Lizzie was only 17 when she was killed. She would be a hard worker and clean up vomit with a smile on her face because she was helping sick people. I stopped being a heartless tossbag because of reliving her rape and murder. I tried once to have causal sex and I fell hopelessly in love."

"Diane," said Uneek.

Owen nodded.

"What about Gwen?" asked Jack.

That relationship was anything but causal. Gwen was his crutch after the cannibal incident as much as Owen was hers. Owen slumped down in the sofa. "I wanted to die when she ended the relationship, but the Weevil didn't finish the job."

Jack looked like a lightbulb lit over his head. "That's why you shot me."

"No, I hated seeing the hospital filling up with black death patients; that coupled with me hallucinating that Diane was in trouble and needed me. I rather you see me as a macho jerk than a suicidal wuss that couldn't even pull the trigger and needed a Weevil to do the job." Owen smiled to spite himself and sat up a bit taller. "If I shot you each time you insulted my integrity, Touchwood would run out of bullets."

"I think I'm going to like working with you two," said Uneek.

"I'm going back to Flat Holm once you're trained," explained Owen.

"But Flat Holm is part of Torchwood," said Uneek.

"It is but we won't be seeing each other on a daily basis," said Owen.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes: I don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

xxxx

After showering and shaving, Owen dressed for Torchwood. His blouse didn't fit right without the bra and falsies; therefore, he decided to wear his stuffed bra. In the bathroom, he put on some mascara and eyeliner. His cheeks were rosy enough without blush. Although his blood and urine had been nanite-free for over a week, he still had more pink in his skin tone than before he died. His temperature was a good 36 to 37 degrees Celsius, so he ran more cold then hot. Therefore, the Extermis was totally out of his system.

No wig today. Owen brushed his short but now growing hair. Showering and shaving every morning sucked but he like being alive otherwise. Feeling pain kept his body safe and sex with Diane was beyond wonderful. Better than he remembered. Now that he was no longer throwing up, eating was OK.

He took a cup of coffee since Diane already put up a pot.

Diane sat at the table. "I'm still getting used to you having a morning routine."

"Sleeping is nice," said Owen. "I said right after I died that sleeping, drinking and fucking were my favourite activities."

"The fucking is nice - very nice." Diane put her coffee cup down and took Owen's hand. "You're going out like that?"

"I'm going to take a jumper or jacket or both," said Owen. "Spring in Cardiff - sunny one minute - pouring rain the next."

"Just coffee on your first day back," said Diane.

"I'll have some toast with jam," said Owen. "You aren't my mummy, and I may go out for a drink with the old gang, so don't wait up."

After giving Diane a good-bye kiss, Owen put on some lipstick then put on his jumper and, after opening the door, decided on also wearing his black jacket. The jacket would come off if the sun peeked out of the clouds later that day.

Diane yelled, "Don't take the car."

The bus today. They needed two cars. When he sat on the bus, he figured people would see him as a gay man since dykes didn't wear eye make-up. He was going to take his time learning who Owen was. He wasn't Lizzie with her pink bow and he wasn't Owen, the tossbag. He needed to find a happy medium. A person he would like to see in the mirror.

Ianto greeted him at the front desk. "You're just here to train your replacement. I'm in charge when we're out in the field with Jackie confided to desk duty."

"Desk duty," repeated Owen.

"Our unborn child is mortal, so Jackie can't be jumping in front of bullets."

"That will be hard for him," said Owen.

"The pot is calling the kettle black."

"You were the one of the people who shot me," said Owen.

"That's history," said Ianto.

"You weren't the one shot." Owen gave him an eyeful. "My shoulder is all healed, thanks to Extermis; it's water under the bridge."

Uneek entered the pawn shop.

"Uneek Johnson, this is Ianto Jones. He's the Jones to our Smith and Jones. The married couple who work here are the Smiths. Ianto wears a three-piece suit to take in the post," explained Owen. "Captain Jack hired him to type, file, get us to our appointments on time and look good in a suit."

Uneek nodded. "I see."

"Pawn shop. I love it. Have the people selling their alien artefacts come to us," said Owen. "Must cut down on field work."

"Mickey mans the counter," explained Ianto. "The store doesn't open for another hour. He looks like the type of person you would see running a pawn shop. The customers needing to tear him away from his video game half the time adds to the realism. You two will also be scheduled for front desk duty."

"We should have thought of the pawn shop cover years ago," said Owen. "It's brill."

Jack entered from the back room. "I'm glad you think so. It's smaller than the old place. Just some storerooms and an office, but it suits our needs."

"Owen, I love the eye make-up and black jacket," said Ianto. "You look like a pawn shop owner."

"Let's talk in back," said Jack. "We'll do this right this time. I can sell you Captain Jack's Booty and Pawn."

Owen laughed. "You need a parrot and an eye patch."

"The regulars love the long coat and my braces," said Jack. "And the counter is high enough that no one can see my growing baby bump."

Owen looked at the collection of rings. "Any of this stolen?"

"We're looking for alien artefacts," said Ianto. "Any stole merchandise we find is handed over to the police. What the police do with it is their problem."

Jack took Owen's arm. "Do want to buy the shop?"

"Harper's Pawn." Owen laughed, again. "People will think we specialise in musical instruments. Besides, I'm returning to Flat Holm in a few weeks."

Uneek said, "Ianto's perfectly pressed suits might scare away the seedier clientele."

"I have much better ways to keep him busy." Jack took Ianto's arm. "As far as the public knows, I own the place and Mickey and Martha are my only two employees."

Jack unlocked the door to let them behind the counter. After everyone was in, he shut the door. "Mickey and Martha have the keys to the front and back doors." Jack led them to a conference room/break room. A step down from the hub. All the furniture looked second hand. Owen sat on a folding chair. Uneek sat on another beside him. After Jack winked at Ianto, Ianto left the room. "You haven't lived until you drank Ianto's coffee."

Uneek said, "You're sleeping with the secretary. That's so tacky."

Owen whispered in her ear, "Ianto used to say 'sexual harassment, sir.'"

Jack touched his belly. "Ianto and I are having a child together."

Uneek stood up. "May I?"

"People think pregnant people are public property, so why not?" said Jack.

Uneek walked over to the couch where Jack was sitting and put her hand on his lower abdomen. "Amazing. Alien technology?"

"No, I'm intersex," said Jack. "My parents designed me to have fully functional male and female reproductive systems. Due to my time machine being broken and my interesting biology, I became Torchwood's pet time traveler. The inmate is now running the asylum so to speak."

Uneek went back to her chair. "You can't go back to your own time. That's sad."

"This is my time now," said Jack.

"Jack told me nothing about himself when I started," said Owen. "Suzie, Tosh and I used make up wild stories about who he was and where he came from."

"I need to hear these stories," said Uneek.

"Later." Owen took her hand. "I miss Suzie and Tosh. We had good times together."

"What happened to Suzie and Tosh?" asked Uneek.

"They died," said Owen. "Suzie took her own life, but Tosh's death was job related."

"You can leave now," said Jack, "But you will leave believing this is a normal pawn shop."

"Owen died, too," said Uneek. "Can you bring me back or was Owen a one time deal?"

Owen patted her hand. "One time deal."

"Owen and Suzie both tried to kill themselves," said Uneek. "Suzie succeeded and Owen failed. That tells me this job is high stress. I should probably leave now. That would be the sane thing to do."

"But you won't," said Jack.

Uneek smiled at Owen then turned to look at Jack. "I followed the White Rabbit down the rabbit hole. I can't turn around now."

"Gwen was the same way," said Jack.

"Is she dead, too?" asked Uneek.

"No, she just had a baby and is on parental leave," explained Owen. "You're replacing her."

"And when she returns to work?" asked Uneek.

"She will want less hours to spend time with the baby or I will want less hours to spend time with my baby," said Jack. "Either way, you will have a job with us."

Ianto returned with the coffee. "Will you be needing anything else, sir?" Ianto set the coffee on the table, keeping his face down.

"The father of your child calls you 'sir?'" asked Uneek.

"I'll be going then, sir," said Ianto, shutting the door behind him.

"Ianto's shyness is adorable," said Jack.

xxxx

After the morning meeting, Mickey showed Uneek the computer while they manned the store. "The bell alerts us to costumers approaching. No talking about aliens when civilians are around."

"Got it," said Uneek, looking at the monitor.

"We need all our costumers to fill out a form with contact information," said Mickey. "Everything needs to be above board. We need to look like a real business."

"Does the government take our profit or do we keep it?" asked Uneek.

"What profit?" asked Mickey. "We're running at a loss. You should see our books."

Uneek clicked to another page. "I shall."

xxxx

While Owen was looking over the archives, Ianto walked into the backroom. "I would have had you and Diane sent to the Welch countryside. You could have a surgery and Diane, your lovely wife, could dust crops. All those pregnancy hormones are making Jackie soft."

"Then I'm glad you're not in charge," said Owen.

"With your memories erased, you would be none the wiser," said Ianto.

"I would still hate grass and trees," said Owen, not looking up from the storage cabinets.

"Then you would stay inside your surgery and moan about your surroundings to your wife," said Ianto. "By the way, you have an appointment to see Helen on Friday. Wear a suit and keep the make-up to a minimum."

Owen tapped his well-manicured nails on a drawer. "I keep the green nail polish. Or I could wear the black."

Ianto smiled down at Owen. "Surgery."

"Blue with sparkles," said Owen.

"The genderbending grunge look works for a pawn shop, but you'll be applying to be head doctor at a mental facility. You need to, at least, look the part," said Ianto.

"You're the secretary. Don't think you're special because you're sleeping with the boss." With that, Owen left the storeroom, remembering to put a little wiggle in his walk just to irritate Ianto. Ianto was Jack's plaything and would be pushed aside when Jack found someone new. In Owen's opinion, Ianto was foolish to think he was anything more.

xxxx

Owen took Uneek out for a drink after work. That reminded him of all the times he went out for drinks with Suzie. Back before Ianto was hired it was just Jack, Suzie and Tosh. And Jack was the boss and Tosh was a stick in the mud that wouldn't know fun if it bit her on her tight arse. A nice stick in the mud that covered for Owen more often than anyone should, not that he ever appreciated it at the time.

During work, he removed his jumper, bra and falsies as the day got warmer. His blouse hung on him a bit, but he had his jacket on over it. After taking a sip of his beer, Owen asked, "How was your first day?"

"No calls about aliens or alien artefacts," said Uneek. "So Mickey taught me how to man the shop and a bit about spotting alien artefacts and showed me a few interesting examples they had in storage."

"It's mostly downtime," said Owen. "But when it's up time; it's up time. If you get my meaning."

"You dying, Tosh dying," said Uneek. "I get it. You promised to tell me stories about the old days with Suzie and Tosh."

"The guy, in charge of Torchwood 3 before Jack, killed himself and the rest of the staff," explained Owen. It wasn't his place to say that Jack was immortal. "I don't get it. Jack's jailers were gone and he runs the gaol."

"Stockholm syndrome," said Uneek. "Also Torchwood was all that Jack knew. Some of the alien technology must be as advanced or nearly as advanced as the world he came from. Maybe, that gives him comfort."

"All Jack had when I started was a bed in a storeroom, some photos and two changes of clothing. It's odd what we take for granted. Suzie, Tosh and I never questioned it." Owen drank some of his beer. Jack also had his broken time machine that never left his wrist, but it wasn't Owen's place to tell Uneek that. "We questioned who he was since he had no birth certificate, driving record, nothing. Everything else was Jack being all mysterious."

"Does Jack have any other children?" asked Uneek. "Other than the one he's carrying."

"Alice. Jack is secretive. You learn about his past in drips and drops. They aren't speaking because Jack killed her child to save the world. So don't ask him about his children."

"He killed his own grandchild?" asked Uneek.

"It was during the time the 456 was speaking through the children," said Owen. "He needed to use a child to stop them from killing everyone on planet Earth. And only his grandson was available in the time he had. No one should have to make that kind of choice."

"Jack looks to be in his mid to late 40's," said Uneek. "He has to be in his childbearing years since he couldn't exactly ask a doctor to reverse menopause to let him have a child. Then, again, people from the future may age slower than us, so he could be a great deal older than he appears."

Owen didn't say you wouldn't believe how much older. He just smiled then drank more beer and had the barmaid pour them another round.

Uneek said, "Talk."

"Suzie and I went out drinking after work. At first, I did most of my drinking alone. Jack recruited me soon after my fiancee died. Tosh had to pretend to be a doctor my first or second day of work because I was so hung over."

"Didn't Tosh go with you?" asked Uneek.

"I didn't start spending time with Tosh until after Suzie died," Owen explained. "Tosh was all work no play back then. She got so angry when Ianto, Gwen and I were playing basketball in the Hub."

"Downtime. The Hub must have been bigger than our storefront," mused Uneek, playing with condensation on the glass mug.

"Much bigger," said Owen. "Ianto bought a pterodactyl with him when he started."

"That much have been something," said Uneek.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: I don't own Torchwood. It belongs to BBC.

xxxx

On Friday, Owen took the boat to Flat Holm. He didn't need Ianto to tell him to dress appropriately. He wasn't five. Now that he was alive, his nails among other things were growing. He wasn't about to cut or file down his nails, but he did wear a clear gloss. Ianto could moan all he wanted. Owen went to see the director. "Captain Harkness hired me back. Touch my hand."

The director touched his hand.

"Take my pulse," said Owen.

She did. "Wow."

While the woman was still touching his wrist, Owen said, "I'm offering my services as staff doctor."

She let on off his wrist. "Welcome aboard."

"I hope you don't mind that Captain Harkness rehired me without consulting you."

"As I said earlier, we can use the help. I'll give you all the residents' charts and we'll take it from there. We've had doctors visit, but when you need to retcon the doctors, follow up becomes an issue."

"You don't retcon after every visit?" asked Owen.

"Only when the doctors are too distress by the facility or our residents and it's the only way," she explained. "Which happens more often than I like. Having a doctor on staff is a Godsend."

"I'll go over the charts then meet with the nursing staff," said Owen.

xxxx

Still wearing an old suit dated from before he started working at Touchwood, Owen took the bus to Nikki Bevan's flat. Now that he was staff doctor at Flat Holm, he needed to look the part, especially when his job took him out to the community. He also needed another car, so he didn't have to share with Diane. He knocked at the door. "Ms. Bevan, may I come in?"

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Dr. Owen Harper," he said. "I just started working as staff doctor at the Flat Holm facility."

"I'll get us some tea," said Nikki.

Owen looked around the room of the small cosy flat. Nikki had no reminders in the living room of her son, which Owen felt was sad. Then Owen kept but never looked at pictures of Katie. So he understood. When he lost Katie, he felt he lost his reason for living. However, Jonah was still alive when Katie wasn't.

Finally, Nikki came back with two cups of tea. "Seeing Jonah is too hard."

"My SO came through the rift like your son," explained Owen. "She came from 1953; therefore, all her family and friends are deceased. Jonah still has family. Sometimes, it isn't easy to do the right thing. I'm working with Jonah. And he still screams but he has moments of clarity."

"Are you a psychiatrist?" asked Nikki.

"Not yet," admitted Owen, "But after meeting the patients at Flat Holm, I found my calling."

Owen drank some tea. Sometimes, silence was a good thing and it didn't need to be filled with inane chatter. He watched Nikki drink her tea, letting her know that he would stay as long as he was welcome.

"PC Cooper tried to be helpful," Nikki, finally, said. "I shouldn't have told her not to tell anyone else. Reality is better than a fantasy, but reality isn't easy."

"No, it isn't," agreed Owen.

"You speak from experience," said Nikki.

"I'm here for you and Jonah," Owen gave her his card. He was the therapist and she was the client. "Whenever you need me."

Nikki put the card on the table without looking at it. "Does Jonah ask for me?"

Owen wasn't going to lie to ease the woman's guilt. "He has."

Nikki took her jumper from the closet. "Then what are we waiting for?"

xxxx

A few weeks later, while looking through his records, Owen noticed that the rift had dropped off no one since the Hub was destroyed. He phoned Mickey. "Mr. Mouse, has the rift taken anyone recently?"

"How recently?" asked Mickey. "And it's Mr. Smith."

Owen could hear Jack laughing in the background.

"Since the new detector was built?" clarified Owen.

"No, but that is a good thing," said Mickey.

"I was going through the charts and our last patient arrived only a couple months after the 73 people were dumped onto the island," said Owen. "Then nobody."

"It means nothing," said Mickey. "The rift has periods of high activity then it will be dormant for a short time then will spike, again."

"I wish Tosh was here," said Owen.

"We all do," said Martha.

"Who else is listening?" asked Owen.

"Gwen and Ianto are out," said Jack. "Uneek is minding the store and I'm stuck in Torchwood 6 waiting to hatch."

"Jack, is there rift activity?" asked Owen.

"None since 456 died," said Jack.

"According to the computer records, the rift activity stopped when Stephen Carter screamed," said Mickey. "His death didn't only save the world but seems to have closed the rift."

Owen said, "Jack talk to me."

Mickey said, "Martha is taking him to his office for a lie down. He killed his grandson to save the world. It isn't something he can forget. Plus his body is full of all those pregnancy hormones. Normal pregnant women cry when a sad song comes on the radio."

"I should let you go to man the computer," Owen said, thinking about when Gwen was expecting Anwen and her all but confessing her love for him in that prison cell.

"Since Rhiannon lives too far away to watch her nephew, Ianto has been interviewing nannies," said Mickey. "How do you explain to Rhiannon that Jack is hermaphrodite and any child he births will be like him?"

"The DNA in his ovaries must be different than his sperm's since Alice is a normal human female," Owen commented.

"Who still isn't talking to her father," said Mickey. "In his more hormonal moments, he cries about that."

"I can talk to Alice. I got Ms. Bevin to see her son and no one saw that coming." Owen wrote down Alice's address and phone number then steered Mickey into talking about the rift and the lack of activity since the 456's visit.

xxxx

After he got the boat off the island then drove the rest of the way to the pawn shop, he went in through the back entrance with his key. He knocked on the door of Jack's office. "Are you OK?"

Jack opened the door. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You stopped talking to me mid-conversation," said Owen.

"You aren't my doctor," said Jack. "Martha is."

Owen sat on the only free chair in the room, allowing Jack to have the sofa. "Can't I be your friend?"

"Friends die," said Jack.

"Martha said I was getting energy from you," said Owen. "Now that the Extermis shit is out of my system, I'm healing normally. I haven't got as much as a cold, yet. What I'm trying to say is?"

"You may not die," Jack finished for him.

"Have you told Ianto?" asked Owen.

Jack looked at his growing belly.

"I take that as a no," said Owen. "He's a smart man. He'll figure it out."

Jack still said nothing.

"Is that why you hired me back and agreed to take Uneek on?" asked Owen.

"Uneek is a good worker," said Jack. "She may be a little less gun happy then the rest of you lot. One client alone sold her 3 alien artefacts. Although she couldn't get the location from the client, she got him to agree to bring all his finds to us for the best price."

"That's sounds much less exciting than grabbing Bernie's hoodie on the run," said Owen.

"When you add labour cost," said Jack, "it's cost effective to have people bring their artefacts to us. We still have to chase some down. Back to wearing the eyeliner, mascara and nail polish."

"Dark purple today." Owen showed Jack his nails, filed and shaped to an appropriate length for a medical profressional . "I'm still figuring out where I fit in the gender spectrum. If you can be pregnant and identify as male, then I can have male parts and identify as both or neither."

"What does Diane think?"

"She's butch and I look gay, so people must look at us and wonder. She's so happy I'm alive that I don't think she cares how I decorate the package. She does love it when I wear tight jeans though. She patted me on the arse at a pub and said to everyone that my arse was hers. She was a bit drunk at the time."

"I bet that wasn't all she said," said Jack.

"I think she said, 'Peoples, you can look all you want, but that mighty fine arse is mine. All mine.'"

"Peoples," repeated Jack.

"She was drunk then I was drunk, too," said Owen. "She might have meant peeps. She sometimes gets the slang wrong, but, at least, she tries. It's so funny when she uses internet slang or tries to sound ghetto."

Jack smiled.

"You and Ianto have a baby on the way," said Owen. "You have a nice house. Hopefully, we both won't still be in Torchwood watching 20-year-olds die in a hundred years."

"Owen, you ruined the moment."

"I do that." Owen also sent Uneek to a possible early grave. "You need to get out of the office. How about we go to a nice restaurant? Ianto and Diane can come, too."

"I didn't mean to give my healing energy to you."

"You knew Gwen gave Suzie her healing energy, so you must have been aware of the possibility."

"I suppose."

"When I came back in Martha's bedroom, Bruce was giving me CPR. So we don't know if I would have came back without intervention." Owen listened to Jack's silence for awhile then said, "In the meanwhile, the four of us, dinner tonight."

xxxx

Author's Note: It's Torchwood 6 because Torchwood 5 would be the site in London if or when they rebuild.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: I don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

xxxx

During dinner, Jack's phone rang. "Owen, Weevils. You want to handle it? I'll drive Diane home."

"Has Uneek dealt with aliens, yet?" asked Owen.

"No, she's been manning the store while the others do field work," explained Jack.

"It's about time then," Owen called Uneek and gave her the location. "Meet me there. Don't approach the aliens until I get there. Weevils go straight for the jugular."

"Got it." Uneek got off the phone.

Owen kissed Diane. "Good-bye. I should be home soon." Owen drove to the site. No Weevils. Then they could have went back underground on their own. Owen got out of his car to look around. He spotted Uneek. "What did I say about not approaching?"

"They're down this alley," said Uneek. "Two of them."

"They have low-grade telepathy," explained Owen. "I reached an understanding for lack of a better word with Janet, the one we kept in the Hub. If they think I killed Janet, all hell may break loose. Here goes nothing."

Uneek crossed her fingers.

Owen slowly approached the Weevils. They bowed and backed away. "I still have it."

Uneek walked over to him slowly, keeping her fingers crossed. "Now what?"

"The new place doesn't have the room for us to keep pets, so we need to guide them back down to the sewers," Owen said as he bowed back to the Weevils.

"What's going on?" asked Uneek.

"I don't know." Owen could feel his fear, but he needed to stay calm. His body couldn't go into fight or flight. The Weevils would react to his adrenaline. He had remained calm back in that cage years ago. He could do it now. "Don't show fear. They smell fear."

Uneek asked, "How do I not show fear?"

"You don't," said Owen. "When I was dead, I was King of the Weevils. Now they seem to respect me as one of their own."

Owen growled and made a deep hum like he did with Janet. He backed them toward a manhole cover. Uneek backed away slightly while Owen continued to slump his shoulders and hum. Finally, the Weevils lifted the manhole cover and returned underground. Uneek then helped Owen put the cover back in place.

Owen let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "I'll walk you to your car. Don't ever approach to a Weevil backed into a corner. Even the nicest animal may attack when cornered and Weevils are violent under the best circumstances."

"Open spaces," said Uneek.

"Give the Weevil a way out," explained Owen. "Even Jack has come home with scars from a cornered Weevil. The first time Gwen saw a Weevil she kept her distance from it and was unharmed. The other person with her did not keep his distance and was quickly killed. If Weevils went out of their way to attack people, we would hear about Weevil attacks everyday in the news. You give them space and they will back off."

"We did good tonight?"

Owen smiled. "Very good."

xxxx

Owen stripped to his boxers and climbed into bed beside Diane. He could tell from her breathing that she was pretending to be asleep then a giggle confirmed it.

"Out with it," said Owen.

"How did it go?" asked Diane.

"We led them back down to the sewers," said Owen. "As easy as herding sheep."

"Do you miss it?"

"Do I miss nearly getting killed?" Owen took Diane's hand and squeezed it. "No, that's wrong; I did get killed. I see why Jack didn't force Gwen to retcon Rhys. If I didn't have you to confide in, I would go mad."

"Madder than you already are," said Diane.

"Did I tell you I love you?"

"All the time." Diane put her hand on Owen's naked chest.

"Well, I do." Owen put an arm around Diane to pull her close. "I'm head doctor of a medical facility and I just turned 29. I called in a favour to get the position, but I'm the one responsible for 47 patients - their medication and treatment plans. It's all on me."

"You're doing a great job." Diane put an arm around him.

"Tonight, I taught Uneek how to stare death in the eye." Owen looked at the ceiling and not Diane. "Suzie and Tosh are gone. If she dies, it will be on my conscience."

"You told me she was given the opportunity to take the blue or the red pill. She chose the red one freely," said Diane. "Her choice - not yours."

While Martha and Owen were talking shop, Mickey must have shown Diane _The Martix_. Owen thought about Jack telling Uneek that this is his time. Now was becoming Diane's time, too. Owen kissed Diane's cheek and then put his hand under the blanket to touch her breast.

Diane rolled over to kiss him and not on the cheek.

xxxx

On his next day off, Owen and Diane drove to Alice's house. Owen parked the car and turned off the engine. "You should stay in the car."

"I didn't travel all this way to stay in the car," said Diane.

"Fine, come in," said Owen. "She hung up on me twice, so she may not be real friendly."

"Car then," said Diane.

Owen buttoned his jumper against the cold after he got out of the heated car. "After five minutes, knock on the door. No reason to sit in the cold."

"The car has heat," said Diane.

Owen was hoping to be able to use Diane to get out of an awkward situation, if necessary, but Diane wasn't falling for it. Owen, finally, knocked on the door of Alice's new cottage. Nice place in a small fishing village. Not that she could really hide from her father anywhere on the planet.

"Ms. Carter, I'm Dr. Harper," said Owen. "We spoke on the phone."

Alice started to close the door, which Owen blocked with his foot.

"If you like your foot, I would suggest you remove it from my property," said Alice.

"Just a second," said Owen. "Your father doesn't know I'm here. He and his SO are expecting a baby. And he thinks about you."

"He killed my Stephen while I watched," said Alice.

"I wasn't there, but the way I understand it, he didn't have time to find another child," said Owen. "And you couldn't expect him to sacrifice someone else's grandchild. It killed him inside. You know this."

"Stephen was my world." Alice had opened the door, freeing Owen's foot, but she was blocking the doorway with her body to keep him from entering her house.

"Ignoring your father isn't going to bring Stephen back," said Owen. "You need each other more than ever. Holding onto your angry is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies."

"It's all I have," said Alice. "Please, go."

"I'll go," said Owen. "Farewell." Walking back to the car, he felt a bit sorry for Alice. He wanted Alice to fare well. Her pain was hurting her more than anyone else. He let Diane drive part of the way back. "I didn't understand at the time why Jack let Rhys remember, but I can't imagine not being able to share with you."

"You would have needed to make this journey alone for one thing," said Diane.

"Let's go car shopping today," said Owen.

"You don't need to tell me twice."


End file.
